10 things Nigerian women will do during World Cup

Women rarely understand how an inflated piece of leather being chased around by 22 hairy gets men going bonkers; gambling their mothers and not a few cucus

The Fifa World Cup is here with us once again much to the chagrin of soccer-averse women. They rarely understand how an inflated piece of leather being chased around by 22 hairy gets men going bonkers; gambling their mothers and not a few cucus.


For the next one month the fiesta lasts in Russia, Kenya women will devise ways of being ‘football widows’ as their men stay out late with the boys, comparing betting odds.


Some women have already initiated inter-denominational prayers and to deal with the soap operas are done away with when hubby decides to watch some soccer at home where they will own the remote control until the World Cup finals on July 15.


Here are 10 ways women will keep themselves busy during the World Cup.


1. Blankly staring at matches on TV 


Many will be forced to stare at TV screens like zombies just to please their husbands and kill time. They will not be watching the matches but sizing up the physique of the players and secretly admiring Ronaldo, Neymar Jr and Mohammed Salah’s ‘Nyong’o’ beards.


2. Befriending mama daddy


Women will notice Mama Daddy despite her having lived in number 10 since the last World Cup. They will befriend Mama Daddy for kuchapa muchene during those lonely moments when the entire estate is glued to Brazil vs Argentina. The friendship might or might not continue after the World Cup.


3. Buying extra ‘jambas’ and blankets


Many women will brave many cold nights during late night matches as some husbands will not return home, choosing to celebrate until the devil hours.


With the season being chilly, such women will make do with buying to buying heavier jambas and blankets for obvious reasons. 


4. wearing sexiness


Many women will be left to their domodomo and kelele mingi which normally keep men away, anyway. Accordingly, these women will work hard towards kupunguza mdomo to make the home ideal for the hubby to stay indoors.


5. Subscribing to pay channels


Although not in their nature to pay for anything, many women on free-to-air channels will offer to pay for the pay channel for the first times since the 2006 World Cup.


This gesture is to the tame the dude to stay indoors and avoid lamenting “Hakuna Super Sport kwa nyumba!” and ensure that he watches the matches from home and not get trapped with mchele in pubs.


6. Lorries of data bundles


Since they know they won’t have a say in who controls the remote control, many women will buy lorries of data bundles to continue watching soaps and series on the internet while running #WorldCup Manenos with their peeps.   


7. Blackmailing hubby


The World Cup is the best time for women to blackmail their men to buy a bigger TV set, water dispenser or favourite dress and since most want to be left in peace, will comply, including clearing bride price arrears.  


8.  Whatsapp groups


The number of women spearheading mushene in Whatsapp groups will shoot tenfold during the World Cup as an ideal way of passing time after losing their men to Russia.


9. Being all nice to hubby 


To keep hubby at home, many women will start acting malaika and be good, throwing drinks and diversifying domestic menu from their purses.


They will also avoid the remote before becoming a devil again after July 15.


10. Hooking up with ex-file


Those hell bent on cheating refresh their phonebooks in readiness for their ex-boyfriends- especially those who hated soccer and have since back slid from Christian Union!


10 things Nigerian women will do during World Cup 10 things Nigerian women will do during World Cup

Reviewed by odewole Olusegun on Sunday, June 17, 2018 Rating: 5

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